— Allegedly Interesting

Regarding Christian Higley’s recent posts on Bitmob about giving up on his dream career in games journalism.

Christian, I don’t know whether you’ll ever read this, but I hope you do. I was very sorry to read your heartfelt post on the subject of the industry’s club-like nature, and I just wanted to say that I truly hope that you make it to a place that will see you try again.

In my very short time pursuing a career doing the same, I have been met with nothing but encouragement and support. I don’t know whether you were simply in contact with the wrong people, or just unlucky, but I do know that there are people out there that would be more than willing to help you get on your feet. No one is going to give just give you a job out of the kindness of their hearts, but I could name a number of people who are reasonably prominent in the industry that would be willing to read over your work, give you tips for pitching to particular editors, and generally help you on your way.

The best thing that any young writer could do is to just write. Write as much as you can, be it on a blog or a community site like Bitmob. Building up a portfolio of work is essential to any writing application and even if it’s left unpublished, you’ll at least be getting into the habit of writing regularly.

As Scott Nichols said in his response, freelance writing isn’t a career choice to make if you want to, y’know, earn money. It is tough work, full of rejection, derision, and self-doubt. You will be constantly trying to make contact with incredibly busy people whose only available contact points are an underused Twitter account and oversaturated email address. You’ll face critique from faceless Internet gremlins, and hateful responses from people upon whose products you’ve voiced a negative opinion. You will chase money for work that you completed weeks previously, and that which you do receive will be less than you hoped.

It’s hard work, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. It could take you places, and introduce you to people that you’ve only dreamed about. You’ll be writing about the things that you love, and being paid to tell people that they should love them too! Who knows? Perhaps one day it will lead you to editing a publication that has been with you throughout your childhood, giving you the opportunity to shape it in order to teach the youth of that day about the beauty of the entertainment medium that we love!

Please consider continuing your attempts, Christian. From what I’ve seen, you’ve certainly got skill enough that it would be a shame to set it aside.

Dial tone.
Beep boop beep beep boop boop beep boop beep beep.
Ringing.
“Hello, thankyou for calling generic phone support line, your call is very important to us. Please hold for the next 47 years.”
…
“Hello, this is Heavily Accented David, how may I help you? Also this call is being recorded, but only if you don’t try and reference it in the future to get me into trouble for the fact that I am demonstrably terrible at my job.”
“Hi, I’m having trouble with a thing.”
“We have no reports of outages in your area.”
“I can’t be bothered arguing with you. Put me through to your supervisor.”
“One moment… Please hold for a further six months.”
…
“Hello, this is Slightly More Lightly Accented Shane. How may I help you?”
“Hi, I’m having trouble with a thing. Your subordinate couldn’t help me.”
“Allow me to look into it… We have no outages reported in your area.”
“Look, I’m very well qualified to tell you that the problem is with your system, not mine. Just put me through to someone that can actually help me, skip all people that are required to speak from a script.”
…
“Hi, this is Simon and I’m actually from your country. How may I help you?”
“I’m having trouble with a thing DON’T TELL ME THAT THERE ARE NO OUTAGES IN MY AREA.”
“There is an outage in your area, routing you to another exchange. The problem should be resolved.”
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.”
“Are you alright sir?”
“I’m fine. That was merely forty seven and a half years of frustration being released. I can’t feel my legs.”
“Would you like me to put you through to the paramedic service?”
“Thank you, I would appreciate that.”
“Hello, your emergency is very important to us. Please hold as we are currently experiencing a high volume of human suffering.”
…
“Your emergency is still just as important to us as it was before. For priortisation purposes, please rate your discomfort from 1-9 using the keys on your phone.”
“#”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Neither to I, lady robot. Neither to I.”
Click.

I guess Kotaku are liking my reivews?

Limbo (XBLA)

Winner of the Visual Arts and Technical Excellence awards at the Independent Games Festival for 2010, Limbo has successfully navigated its way through the dark forest of small budget independant game development and into the neon-bright halls of XBLA’s Winter (Summer for those of you on the other side of the equator) of Arcade. Limbo is a powerful, foreboding experience which pits a seemingly helpless young boy against a barbarous world, the few inhabitants of which ready to pounce on any and every misstep.

Loved

Loneliness: Limbo is oppresively atmospheric. The entire game is rendered in a black/grey/white and from a multi-plane 2D side-scrolling perspective. There is very little text in the game outside of the main menu, even to the exclusion of any sort of objective. The player quicly learns which objects in the environment are dangerous, though mostly thanks to have been brutally ravaged by it previous to being dropped back at one of the game’s frequent checkpoints. The game’s soundtrack is incredibly sparse, the most common sound effect being the depressingly lonely footsteps of the protagonist. Music is all-but absent aside from a subtle score presented as though from the oversized horn of a phonograph.

Tactile: The way that the protagonist moves just feels right. Timing jumps, climbing both up and down ledges, ladders ropes etc are all very intuitive. You will never find yourself dying thanks to unresponsive controls, there is little here for a poor workman to blame. Limbo is not complicated, control-wise. Move with the left analogue stick, A to jump, B to interact. Complexity comes with how the protagonist is able to interact with the world, and perhaps more aptly, how the world interacts with the protagonist.

If At First You Don’t Succeed: The game’s ability to chew you up and spit you out (sometimes, quite literally) would normally result in many players frustrated by the difficulty. In this instance, the game checkpoints very frequently. This means that you will most likely not need to replay a difficult section after being perforated immediately by the one following it.

Moreish: I found this game incredibly difficult to put down. There is a lot to drive you forward here, from the beautifully terrifying scenery and the new and interesting puzzles to the reveal of a new, shocking expository story element. The game is short, but I think that plays to its strengths, much like a certain other short, brilliant albeit cake-obsessed puzzle game.

Hated

Creepy: The art and audio direction of the game is surprisingly horrifying. Deaths are visceral. I generally hate this term thanks to its over/misuse, but in this case it is both literal and accurate. Not for the fainthearted.

Very Little: I guess it’s kind of short? Clocks in at around three hours. I struggle to find fault with this game.

Playdead is to be commended for this title, preferably through the purchase and recommendation of the product. Limbo is an absolute must-have for Xbox 360 owners.

Kee kurr kee kurrch jown.

This onomatopoeia coined by Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade fame is the sum of my childhood TV time, toys, daydreams and games-played-with-friends. The earnest wish that I were a huge robot, one capable of transforming into some kind of vehicle was both powerful yet unattainable.
It’s hard to nail down exactly what it was about the Transformers that captured the imaginations of so many of my generation. Whatever the reason, the results speak for themselves. Even when the show became little more than a thinly veiled vehicle for toy sales, the fans simply kept watching and begging their parents to buy them the latest of the seemingly endless cavalcade of characters introduced in every single episode of the later seasons.

Growing up, I would approach the idea of painful medical procedures with a bittersweet enthusiasm. Whenever I required an injection, liquid nitrogen wart removal or a tooth filling, I would simply keep reminding myself that following the pain would be a visit to the local toy shop, or as I liked to call it: Transformer Town.
I still have an original cast-iron Optimus Prime, a double-sized Starscream, and a box full of other classic G1 Transformers.

Since then many other beloved franchises have been chewed up and spat out by a Hollywood that insists on constantly repackaging and selling my childhood back to me. I held high hopes for the Michael Bay adaptation of Transformers, only to be shown that some things simply don’t translate well to the modern era.

Subsequently when I initially heard about Transformers: War For Cybertron for the Xbox 360, I was sceptical. Trailers and Dev Diaries slowly piqued my interest until I saw the reveal trailer.
Yesssssssssss.

Could this be the Transformers game that we’ve always wanted? Will our dreams of a G1-worthy game or movie finally come true?
Kind of.

The singleplayer side of the game is split into two campaigns, one for the Decepticons and one for the Autobots. They’re designed to be played in this order as the events of the first set up the second, but the player is provided with the option of starting with either. Seeing the fight from both sides would be a interesting experience if it weren’t for the fact that the story side of things is a little campy. The Decepticons are fighting because Megatron wants power, while the Autobots are fighting to save Cybertron from their corruption. It’s all very thin, but that’s ok because it is incredibly true to the source, right down to the Matrix of Leadership and the ‘bot’s ability to scan items onto their form.

I think this is what I like about it. The whole experience shouts of the developer’s love of the Transformers. Especially visually, the character designs, levels and animations are all exactly what the fans wanted to see and were disappointed to find absent in Michael Bay’s attempts. The characters themselves are covered in plates and vents which move of their own accord, their purpose unknown. They make the characters seem like living (albeit, metallic) beings, rather than more generic robots. The voice acting also helps to accentuate this as the talent High Moon Studios have brought to bear can’t be understated, especially thanks to Peter Cullen making yet another return to the role of Optimus Prime. He lends an authenticity to these experiences which can’t be understated. Without him, I’m not sure how future attempts will fare. Perhaps the use of Optimus Prime will be precluded by his eventual absence?
The world of Cybertron itself also lends a lot to the atmosphere they’ve created. As you move through the world, doors open with a mysterious yet familiar transformation, walkways materialise in front of you as you move down them at great speed and even the usual load-obscuring elevator rides all feel very, Transformery.

Unfortunately, all of these things only really appeal to fans of the old TV series. The gameplay itself is nothing revolutionary. All of the usual 3rd person shooter trappings are present save for a sorely missing cover system, the levels are linear and the weapons are bog standard, if setting-appropriate.
The class-based multiplayer is on the other hand, a whole lot of fun. In fact many reviewers believe this to be the meat and potatoes of the title. I have to admit, the aerialbots are going to be where I spend the majority of my multiplayer time. The ability to transform into an incredibly fast-moving aircraft at any time is fun indeed.

In summary, your enjoyment of the game will come down to nostalgia. As a fan of the original series, I found a lot to love in the singleplayer campaign. I can say with absolute certainty that this is the best game of all time featuring an altruistic truck.

We have spent the artificially extended weekend in Sydney with the lovely Huw and Emma. It has been absolutely wonderful.

This was not in line with my expectations.

That isn’t to say that we weren’t expecting time spent with our newly distant family members to be wonderful, it’s that plane travel with two tiny tiny tinies is by all accounts something to be feared. The night previous to our trip, I was freaking out a bit. Packing interspersed with tending to crying tinies made me wonder how the heck we were going to fare.

We were late to the airport which worried us more than it seemed to worry the staff. The traditionally surly security staff were moved to smiles, the famous Hobart Airport Grumpy Security Guy even apologised for requiring us to remove our sleeping babies from their carriers in order to run them through the x-ray machine (the carriers, not the babies).
After a bit of mucking around getting the girls back into their slings, we were on the plane.

I must say, the staff at Virgin Blue are to be commended for the way they handle families, especially families with twins. I’ve always been happy with the service I’ve received from Virgin Blue, but I’ve never before required any actual assistance due to my familiarity with plane travel. Let’s just say that having an extra pair of hands willing to hold a baby while one attends to their bladder’s requisite unburdening is a welcome luxury.

One painless plane trip later, we were on the ground in Sydney. Emma picked us up in a car that was graciously lent to us by an unknown benefactor. A product of a web of friends of friends, ending in a particularly generous couple who happened to own a car which already contained two car seats.

The following is a summary of our weekend in order to limit the length of this post.
Friday-
Lunch: Red Oak. A steak sandwich was nommed with a Special Strong Bitter and an IPA, both of which stood up to my high expectations.
Dinner: Wood fired pizza from Melinzana, along with some import beers: Chimay Triple, Samuel Adams Pale Ale, Samuel Adams Organic Ale and Weihenstephaner Pilsner.
Saturday-
Late Breakfast: Hoochie Mamma Big Breakfast and coffee, followed by a trip across the road to Campos for a wonderful Double Ristretto and a bag of their Superior blend.
Lunch: None, still full from breakfast.
Outing: Pool and beers with Huw at the local.
Dinner: Thai from Thai La-Ong with more of the above imports.
Outing: John Mayer live in concert while Huw and Emma looked after the girls. This was somewhat harrowing, leaving our girls behind for their first ever babysitting. Let’s just say that phones were checked regularly.
Sunday (Amy’s first Mother’s Day!)-
Breakfast: Homemade Emma Pancakes with poached pear and maple syrup.
Outing: Amy and Emma attended a market while the men looked after the babies.
Lunch: Shenkin’s world famous wraps. (Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) Edit: Also one quarter of a portion of their vanilla slice. So rich, but soooo awesome.
Outing: A tasting paddle from The Local Taphouse, chili chips with parmesan mayo and finishing with a pint of Trumers Pils.
Dinner: Homemade Awesome Risotto by Emma with more of the above imports.
Monday-
Activity: Preparations for home.
Lunch: Peking Pork from Sydney airport. Surprisingly good.

The flight home was just as uneventful. The girls were wonderfully well behaved and required little intervention from us.

All in all, a successful trip. A hugely risky one, but successful nonetheless.

Proof!

Upon greeting me in the morning, it is common for my workmates to enquire as to my demeanour.

“How are you?”
This is a dangerous question. My natural defences haven’t had a chance to replenish themselves at this time of day, nor have I had the opportunity to artificially shore them up with some sort of caffeinated beverage. It is far more likely that this question can dig it’s way right through to my gooey centre, my reaction more reflexive than reflective.

“Muarghiftl.”
“Right, bad night with the girls then? Who’d have kids, huh?”
“Rargh.”

Unfortunately, this is the Jason that my friends see most of the time. They don’t get a chance to see me when I’m at home, playing with my smiling and new-to-giggling offspring. They don’t see me in social circumstances due to the fact that I generally like to get home as early as I can to spend some time with my girls/relieve Amy of them. They don’t see the illogical complexities of parenthood – e.g. 3 hours of screaming is almost entirely negated by 15 minutes of smiles and cutes.

I think I may also be overly sensitive to gushing about my kids. I’ve heard the reactions of people to overly-excitable parents with their fold-out photo folios and extensive and innovative stories about poop. They aren’t generally well received. I may take it too far, but the result is that they don’t get to hear about the best parts of the whole experience. Practical examples of the oft-used “It’s hard, but it’s so worth it” affirmation.

I encourage parents out there to be mindful of how they come across as parents to others. If your peers were to describe you, would they class you as “having a tough time of it”, or “loving it, despite the difficulties”? Rest assured, minuscule readership, that I am in the latter category. It is hard, but it is so worth it. There are times when it all seems too difficult, but those times are rare and separated by the most intense feelings of love and validation that mere words simply cannot describe.